[June 14, 2024 - I have made some (minor) edits to the original version of article, as it appears to be getting a bit more attention, and, in response to some comments from the therian community, I wanted to revise some language in order to be a bit more clear. If you are reading this as a part of the therian community, I welcome your discussion and input, and I hope that you forgive any ignorance I may have about therianthropy. I confess that I have written this article from the perspective of a child psychologist, and most of what I have written will pertain to younger (pre-adolescent) children - say ages 8-12 - who are in the early or emerging stages of exploring a therian identity. These are the things I have made an effort to better specify below (compared to the original article) but, in truth, there is very little scientific information about therianthropy, especially in children, and so much of what I have written here is an effort to explain what I believe is best for overall child mental health, while also sharing what I have seen in my experience as a child psychologist].
Actual article follows below:
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So your kid is an animal. I'm not talking metaphorically - like your child is wild or "out of control" like an animal. I'm talking about "furries" and the (perhaps) lesser known term therians. This growing trend that involves kids dressing and acting like animals can sometimes concern parents. Parents may worry about it just being "weird" or they may worry it's a sign that their child doesn't like who they are, so they are trying to be something else. In this blog, I'm going to just take a little time to explain what the trend is and what I think about it.
A "furry" is a sort of fandom. It typically involves people who enjoy the art of expressing themselves in an animalized way. Most commonly, they dress up as animals in a form of cosplay, but it can also involve a generalized interest in animals (typically certain "favorite" animals), which can be expressed through other artistic means too - drawing, reading, writing, etc.. Furries may also occasionally display animal-like behaviors, such as crawling on all fours, hopping around like a bunny, or meowing/hissing like a cat. In my experience, most often, furry culture involves what could be considered as "cute" animals - animals that can be kept as pets (dogs, cats, bunnies, etc.) or otherwise docile/non-aggressive animals that people tend to want to cuddle. This is why the term "furry" is used, because the animals depicted tend to be furry, soft, cuddly, cute, etc. However, technically a person could "furry" as any animal, even one without fur.
Still, most people who call themselves a "furry" will still call themselves human. They understand that when they are dressing up as animals, they are doing so for fun, or for art. Mostly, they do it just because they like it. This is especially true for kids. Kids love to play pretend and love to dress up. And once they learn about the "furry" culture, they may be drawn to it because it gives them a means to dress up and pretend to be like the creatures they love. Saying "I am a furry" is just a way for kids to say they like the culture of people who like to dress up as animals. There's nothing more to it than that. So, don't get worried. It's not "weird", it's just a "shorthand" for saying, "I like to dress up as animals, and I like meeting other people that like to do that too."
When kids do this, it's harmless. It's no different than any other type of pretend play, really. It's just humans doing "cute" humans things. And even if it's not something that interests you, particularly, it's okay to allow your child to explore and enjoy their own interest in this.
At the same time, it's also okay to teach them the real practical social consequences of behaving like an animal in the wrong places and at the wrong times. Encouraging them to wear their cat outfit to school may very well violate a school dress code, and it's okay to tell kids they can't wear whatever they want to school. This is true even if you don't fully agree with the idea of a dress code in the first place. But that's perhaps another argument for another time and place. Like it or not, school's and other places in society have dress codes, and there's nothing wrong with teaching children to comply with certain societal/cultural expectations, especially if such compliance is not going to harm them and is going to make their life easier. So, don't feel bad about telling your child they can't dress as a furry at school, but do allow them to do this at home if they want. Again, it's just another form of play, and kids will have plenty of other times and places in their life where the ability to play will be beaten out of them by the need to "grow up" or learn other responsibilities. So, give them space to play.
Therian is slightly different from "furry," and is typically harmless. Identifying as therian means that a person identifies as a non-human being, typically an animal, which might be a wolf, bear, cat, or maybe even a worm. It has a lot of overlap with the general "other kin" community of people who may identify with fantasy characters - elves, dragons, faeries, wizards, and so on). Again, for most kids, this is a harmless, playful way to engage with a like-minded community and to find camaraderie in something important to them. And kids tend to use the term "therian" differently than someone with more maturity might (i.e. adolescent or adult). For kids, most often, the term still captures the same idea of an antrozoomorphic (part human-part animal) identity, but in kids, it is often still more "fun" than it is a serious, "this-is-who-I-really-am-and-will-be-forever identity."
Later in development (though it's unclear when) therianthropy can become a more serious, spritual way of life. This developmental process could be considered much like that of religions, where people, as they mature, may become more spiritually minded and "involved" than they were as children, or they may "drift' away from that religion. So, like other spiritual beliefs, kids may solidify that belief over time as they grow into adults, or they may drift toward other spiritual beliefs. It's important as parents to again understand that therianthropy is not itself inherently harmful, and though it has some spirtual components it is not really considered to be a "religion" or anything like that. I am only using the metaphor above to reference similarties in the developmental process. So, it is okay to support kids as they develop this sprituatl mindset, and to keep an open mind and allow them to develop the mindset in whatever way makes sense to them. Again, this will be easier to support as kids mature and can engage in more mature conversation about what therianthropy means to them. When they're younger children (think like 8-12 years old), their engagment with the mindset and community may not be fully developed though. Consequently, my best recommendation is to just "let them be kids," and enjoy the fun of discovering therianthropy.
Rarely, adults may choose to take therianthropy to extremes and alter their body to look more like the animal or other-kin they love - they may get tiger stripes tattooed on their body, change the shape of their ears, or enlist other plastic surgeries that captures their identity. While atypical to go to this extreme, these extreme behaviors are still not inherently harmful, and the people that do them are not usually at great risk for problematic behaviors. They are also, again, extremely rare. Most people (kids included) are just in it for the community that comes with finding commonalities with like-minded people.
I mentioned above that therianthropy (identifying as therian) is a sort of spiritual mindset, allowing a crossing of human and non-human identities in a single unit. It is a thriving, though perhaps not well-understaood, academically or scientifically, culture, that has flourished in an increasingly online world, where therians can more easily find each other and openly relate about their identities. This link https://online.ucpress.edu/nr/article-abstract/16/3/7/70061/The-Beast-WithinAnthrozoomorphic-Identity-and will take you to an article that, in my reading, takes a careful and respectful view at therianthropy in modern culture.
Still, the most important thing I want to say with this article is that "furrydom" and "therianthropy" are most typically social behaviors/identities, more than anything - attempts to connect with others who like what they like. It's really no different than Arnold Schwarzenegger sculpting his body in incredible ways because of his love of the body-building community or joining a gaming club because you like to talk about videogames and identify as a "gamer". These people are all doing something they love, forming meaningful (usually healthy) identities in the process, and they are making connections with other people along the way who also happen to do that thing they love. So, if your child comes to you and tells you they are therian, don't freak out. In fact, go along with it, if you want. It's not going to hurt them, and, your support gives them space to figure out if this is a mindset that fits who they are going to be when they're older, or if they want to entertain other mindsets too. When I was a kid, I really liked basketball and other sports. I used to imagine I was Michael Jordan, and I spent a lot of time around gyms and with friends playing these sports. and I was pretty good. I thought, for a time, that perhaps I could even play professionally. It was a big part of my interest and my identity. But in my adulthood, I've not really played basketball now for >20 years. and if I tried to play now I'd be really bad. Like, for me, embarrassingly bad. For me, my interest in playing and being good at basketball was replaced by other interests (art, music, and humans), and those interests eventually solidified into who I am today. I still enjoy the sport, but I don't put my time anymore into being good at it. Many of your kids will be the same. The times in their life when they dressed as furries and/or called themselves therian will look different in adulthood than it does now, as kids. For many, the identtity can continue over time, and kids who were "furries' may cosplay at conventions routinely as adults. Or they may become artists who specialize in creating art featuring their beloved animal(s). The point is that you really can't predict at age 8-12 what a kid's spiritual mindset is going to be like when they're older, but it is okay to allow kids space and time to figure these things out over time, with proper supports In sum, it's common for kids to engage these interests as a form of play and personal exploration, and it's totally okay to encourage your kids to play. Even if you don't understand the origins of the interest, or why they've chosen to express the interest in the ways the do, it's okay to just let the interests follow whatever natural progression they happen to follow.
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Jan 3, 2025
I am adding to this post with some relevant Q/A from the comments section, to make those things easier to find for readers. For brevity, I will also summarize some of the questions, rather than quote them verbatim. Q: From a worried mom: "I am very worried about how other kids treat my 11-year-old daughter who uses the term "furry" and "therian" to describe her wolf play. She has already been "shunned" by some friends and their parents. How do I help her with this?
A. irst, it's clear you care a lot about your daughter, and I'm glad you've sought some guidance to try to figure this stuff out. That, in itself, shows your heart is in the right place. Second, I will also say that it sounds like your daughter is doing something really courageous, which is sticking with her interests and her sense of self, despite it havign a number of (unfair) negative effects on her social and interpersonal life. That takes an incredible amount of courage, and she should be applauded for that. That level of courage will pay off for her in the long run. And so, I invite you to, in the mixture of the "sadness, shame, confusion, guilt, embarrassment, and anger" your feeling to also add pride. I know you are already proud of your daughter, but I mean that specifically to be proud that she is choosing the express a therian/furry identity, even when it's not easy to do so. You've got a lot to be proud of, if your daughter is able to hold onto something that is important to her even in the face of ridicule.
Therianthropy has a lot of overlap with other types of neurodivergence. I'm not saying they are one and the same, but I am saying the experience of therianthropy is very similar to the experience of neurodivergence, for kids and for adults. It is also similar to being a part of other minority religious or spiritual communities. Therian kids often experience similar types of misbeliefs and misperceptions from others as, say, a Muslim kid or a Hindu kid in a typical U.S. classroom. In other words, it can scare people who don't understand it, and those scared people can say and do hurtful things out of fear. Of course, it is not our responsibility to change the perceptions of others - that's up to them - the ones that have those beliefs - and so asking you or asking your daughter to try to change the perspectives of the people who have "shunned" her is neither realistic nor necessarily the best course of action. Instead, the age old things we've used forever to help "persecuted" or "misunderstood" kids still apply here. In other words, your daughter will need to learn the hard truth that some people will not understand her and some people will treat her differently because of it, but that's not her fault and it has nothing to do with anything she's doing wrong. She can, over time, learn to decide what parts of herself she wants to share with whom, and when, and you can talk to her about this (i.e. "Do you want to tell your friend about your wolf side, or do you want to keep that to yourself?"). Don't pressure her to choose one over the other, but just allow her space to ponder about when and where she wants to show the different parts of herself. You can use modeling to let her know how you might do the same. For example, as I mentioned in the original article, I do not always show all parts of my personality at all times. Here, for example, on this forum, I am professional and measured. However, there may be other times when I am downright silly. At home, I can (and commonly do) turn almost everything into a song, but I don't really do that at work, at least not as frequently. This is small example of what it means to decide which parts of yourself to show depending on your setting. So, you can share something similar about yourself and then ask your daughter what she wants to do - what parts of herself she wants to show in her different settings, and why.
The 'why' is important too. You'd want to monitor that the why is supported by healthy reasoning. You'll see I've covered that in some other comments here, but basically you want to make sure she's not completely shutting off this important thing about herself just because others don't understand it. Rather, she may filter it, or, to use a different terminology, she may enjoy simply learning the cultures of others so she can thrive best in those cultures, when she needs to. That being said, she may choose not to filter herself, and that's fine too, if she can do that while still being proud of who she is. The other thing I'd say to her is to remind her that some day (if she hasn't already) that she will meet "her people," and those people will be the ones that just get her, few questions asked, and it's just easy with them - no filter required (or at least not much of one). There's a good chance those people are also going to be neurodivergent in some way, or, at least, they'll be neurodivergent friendly. Once she finds "her people," things will get better for her as a whole, regardless of whether or not she sticks with the furry and/or therian community. So, as a parent, I would encourage you to do some things to help your daughter find more of her people. If she has no people at school, then do everything you can to get her into some other activities where she has a chance to find people who won't care about the things that are giving her difficulty at school/eslewhere. A lot of kids similar to your daughter do well in other creative/imaginative endeavors - art, theater, music, gaming/anime clubs, things like that. If your community has anything like that, it might help to find her something similar where she can be around other people doing things she enjoys. If available, take her to a comic-con or something like that, where she can join other people who identify closely with non-or alter-human characters. Go in, for yourself, with an open mind. Even if it's not really a place you would normally go, pretend your daughter is like 5 again and you're taking her trick-or-treating. This will help put you in a mindset of sharing in the joy of a child doing something they love.
[For the therians/furries on here, to be clear, I'm not saying therianthropy or being furry is the same as dressing up for Halloween. I only use this reference as an analog for parents to put themselves in mindset where they are enjoying something fun with a child, by attending a con with them. That's an easy thing to forget for parents (myself included) as our kids get older, that they are still just kids looking for shared enjoyment in things they love].
Q. I regret my decision when I was younger to be therian. It caused a lot of problems for me. Are all types of therianthropy equally healthy?
A. No. Like in all belief systems, there are some aspects that are healthier than others. I think that the healthy version of therianthropy is one where the therian is still able to hold onto their humanity and sort of bounce between both words (human and therian) without major difficulties. That's an oversimplification, but the basic idea is that one needs to, I think, maintain a lifestyle where they feel happy with themselves and meet as many of their life goals as possible [without harming others along the way]. [and what I mean by that is that we all have a right to happiness and to pursue our own goals and interests but shouldn't do so without any regard for the rights of others - that's true for everyone]. It is normal for a person's goals and interests to change over time, and it is thus of course normal to eventually abandon past interests to pursue new ones, assuming these changes are made for the right reasons. That's another reason we all need good people around us, to help figure out whether the changes we want to make for ourselves are being done for the right reasons. And I think that's the best way parents can support their therian or therian-leaning kids, is to give them space and safety to have conversations, over time, about whether the lifestyle is being pursued (or, alternatively, left behind) for the right reasons, and in a healthy way. So, parents will want to be sure their children are still able to optimize their experience of the non-therian, human world, as much as possible. I also think there are always going to be cases like yours where someone finds that maintaining the therian lifestyle and ideas doesn't suit them forever, and may eventually find something different that works better for them, and that's okay too. We, all of us, deserve to find our true selves while working to be better selves - whether that is being therian or not. Q. My kid and her friends talk about having this "amnesia" and disorinentation during or after a shift. What is that about? That can't be healthy, can it?
A. This is a really good question. Apologies, but I ended up typing a pretty long response. I hope it helps.
It's hard to respond to specific inquiries like this without actually assessing a child, as each child is unique. I will give some general thoughts, with the caveat that they are general thoughts and may not all apply perfectly to your child. I'll also add that it is hard, but important, to strike a balance between general childhood imaginative play and genuine spiritual experiences.
What I mean by that is that if you look at a lot of cross cultural studies, you will find examples of cultures in which it is common within that culture to experience spiritual "shifts." So, for example, there is an experience called "zar" which is seen somewhat commonly in some northern and eastern African communities and in the Middle East. Zar refers to a type of spirit and the illness those spirits cause, which includes changes of consicousness or identity. In many cultures where this occurs, it is not seen as pathological, per se, but there are rituals that can help pacify the spirits and thus return the person back to their normal selves. In other words, these rituals give individuals a sense of control over what otherwise is seen as an uncontrollable experience.
It would be insensitive for a Western psychologist or other doctor practicing within that culture, then, to come in and say, "You're just having a dissociative episode" or "You have schizophrenia" and to then treat it with methods for those conditions. Instead, it is better to listen to the spirital leaders in that community who have experience in handling the zar, and to follow their lead. More specifically, we may assist patients to connect with leaders who know the rituals that in the past have helped with this zar possession, and then we can teach them how to use these rituals to manage shifts when needed. This is a form of cultural sensitivity, then, where we don't apply our own ideas of pathology in ways that risk rejecting patients and the reality of their own cultural experiences.
I think we would, then, do something similar within the therian community. First, we'd have to determine if amnesiac "shifts" are causing actual problems in functioning. Some examples of this might be if the child is doing something really problematic during the shift, things they would get in trouble for or that might be physically dangerous. In these cases, amnesia during the shifts could prevent learning and could prevent being able to take responsibility for one's actions. My understanding within the therian community, and taking a culturally sensitive perspective, is that a complete amnestic shift is not desirable. Rather, I think a healthy therian generally wants to have their identities integrated. That is, the identities can co-exist simultaneously and in communication with each other. This may not be the experience of all therians at all times, but does seem to be the healthy and idealized goal, sort of like the "self-actualization" of therians. (For what it's worth, I'd set the same goal for us all - true self-integration is always healthier than disintegration).
The other thing we should consider is that even in cultures where genuine spiritual shifts occur, children can be observed to "play" those shifts, and the cultures understand that sometimes children are just playing, and that they are not, in reality (using the current example), possessed by zar. There is a line, then, that can be drawn between childhood pretend play and an actual spiritual shift. It can be hard for an outsider looking in to know what the difference is. This is again where we turn to spiritual leaders and experts within the community to help us understand how they know the difference between an actual spiritual shift versus a child who is playing.
So, again, here is a distinction that can be difficult for therians, in that there may be cases where children who are not actually therians "play" as therians and there are other cases where children who are therian are "awakening" and discovering their therianthropy for the first time. From what I understand (from therians), this is something that is often not discernible until later in life (later adolescence or early adulthood), once kids have had a chance to mature and better understand the spiritual aspects of therianthropy.
If there is true dissociation present, I'd be inclined to want to treat it or correct it.
This takes an idea we use in treating any form of psychological dissociation - dissociative identity disorder, traumatic dissociation, dissociative fugue, etc. - which is that the problem in dissociation is not having two many identities, it's really a problem of not having ONE identity. In other words, a healthy person can have many many identities. As a basic example, I can show different parts of myself at work then I do at home or when I'm with my best friend versus with a stranger. These different parts of myself, though, are all integrated into who I am as a whole. We can extend this same idea to larger "fractures" of identity. That is, by integrating identities into a meaningful whole, we help resolve some of the fracture and thus move toward healthier overall selves.
So, I would talk to a kid about who we can help them experience their full selves more wholly. How can we get their "shifted" self and their "other" self to communicate with each other. This should also, in theory, help minimize uncontrollable urges to shift. If a therian can experience themselves as better integrated, theoretically they can also begin to have some control over the timing and manifestation of shifts. And this is a sound goal even for a healthy therian. Therians (as I understand it, again) do not want to feel like they are shifting out of control or at inconvenient times. Rather, they want to have the experience of being able to choose, to an extent, when and how to shift, or, at the very least, to choose how they express their shift.
My thought about doing this with therians is to use techniques similar to what we use for kids with tic disorders (i.e. Tourette's). Tourette's and other tic disorders come with very difficult-to-control urges to perform some kind of motor or vocal tic. However, techniques can be learned to help modulate or temporarily suppress tics when needed. This is often called CBIT (cognitive behavioral intervention for tics) and involves learning how to use "competing responses" to replace tic urges when needed. A competing response is something that usually involves the same motor muscles as the actual tic, and people learn how to use these competing responses to satisfy urges temporarily until they are in a time or place where they can let their tics go without causing problems.
I think the same method could apply to therian shifts, where therians learn to identify the urge and then identify competing responses that help temporily satisfy those urges in controlled ways, when they need to [for the record, I'm not saying tic disorders and therianthropy are similar neurologically, I just think that similar lessons can be applied when treating concerns within each of them]. Driving is a good example. A therian typically does not want to have a shift while driving, as this could be dangerous. It can also apply in certain public venues, where shifting may contribute to ridicule or bullying. So, it's helpful, and healthy, in those instances for a therian to learn how to control the shift, to the extent possible, until they are in a time and place where they can let it happen more naturally.
So, in conclusion, I'd set 2 goals in cases like your daughter's: 1) regardless of whether the shifts are real or just play, it can be a good idea to talk to her about the different parts of her self and how she can make them more "whole" - to all form into one. I would tell her that it's not healthy to have meaningful experiences we can't remember, and I would wonder with her if there is a way we can keep self more present at all times, regardless of what part of her self she is showing (the animal side vs human). You can tell her that the therian self can oversee it all, and can stay in control so that the animal side and human side can stay in touch with each other. This will give her a culturally respectful language to understand that being therian is not being either animal or human, it is being BOTH (at the same time). And again, whether or not we agree with the actual spiritual ideas of therians, this is a healthy application of general human psychology that applies across all people - that we can have one overall self that oversees all the other parts of ourselves (in Freudian terms, this was the ego. In Jamesian terms, it was called the "I-self" (compared to the "me-self")).
2) I would help talk to her about whether there are times she has shifts or urges that might cause her problems (i.e. at school, or during other activities). If so, you can then explore with her if there are other things she can do during those times to stay true to her true self but managing her urges so they don't negatively affect her life. Again, this is where the therian self can come into play. The idea is that an integrated therian, and one who is in control of all sides of themself, is better/healthier than a disintegrated therian. You can explain this to her in kid friendly terms while still being respectful of her identity.
Of course, I'll say again, these are general thoughts and may not apply to every child. I'm mainly thinking out loud about how I would handle this as a culturally sensitive child psychologist. There isn't a lot of evidence-base behind couseling specifically within the therian community, so I am using generally informed clinically knowledge to make my best hypothesis about what might help.